My Story
By Sofia Slade
Hi, I’m Sofia, a high school senior from New York City. My personal connection to ADHD and eating disorders has fueled my desire to create a website that focuses on bringing awareness to the comorbidity of these mental health conditions so that individuals are able to access the best possible support and treatment.
I was diagnosed with ADHD in the seventh grade, much to my and my family’s surprise. Initially, I did not believe my diagnosis to be correct, since I had always been able to focus for hours on end – when necessary. I was offended by my diagnosis, believing that having ADHD reflected a character flaw. Even the name, “Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder,” perpetuates society’s negative view of the condition, by focusing on one of its negative external consequences. This contributes to the common misconception that ADHD is simply an inability to focus. In reality, it’s much more complex. For me, I have always been very “spacey,” or day-dreamy. I lose things a lot, and can be a little disorganized. Fortunately, we were able to find solutions for this – but it was a long road.
In the eighth grade, I was prescribed medication to help me manage my ADHD – Vyvanse. It made me more alert, very “zoned in,” and motivated. It also made me anxious and suppressed my appetite. I might have been able to compensate for this side effect, but due to being insecure about my body and being bullied at school, I simply saw it as a way to lose weight. This had serious consequences beyond my ADHD.
.png)
First Day of 5th Grade
First Day of Senior Year
I began rapidly dropping weight. I didn’t think it was obvious looking at me, but my mom caught it super early. I was diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa later that year, and began treatment with a specialist who used Family Based Therapy (also known as the Maudsley Method). This approach was super intense and quite aggressive. I had to stop taking my ADHD medication, follow specially designed meal plans enforced by my family, go to regular therapy, and have a weigh-in day once a week. It was really difficult to have 6 meals a day monitored and enforced by my mother and eating disorder professionals. I really hated it. The team helping me was huge - a psychiatrist, cognitive behavioral psychologist, nutritionist, and various monitoring professionals. On weigh-in day I would chug water, consume as much salt as possible, and put rocks in my pockets to increase my number on the scale. I got away with it for six months. The specialists I worked with were addressing the primary symptom of my eating disorder: not eating enough. But they didn’t try to figure out why I had developed it.
Especially during the beginning stages of my treatment, I felt my problems with self-image, social history, and ADHD were not sufficiently taken into account. For this reason I believe that even once I gained the weight back, even once I was apparently in control of my symptoms, I still had an eating disorder. I was still very insecure and was still struggling to manage my ADHD. So it does not surprise me that by ninth grade I had developed Binge Eating Disorder (BED). It was the same restrictive mindset, the same need for control, the same all or nothing thinking – just a different manifestation of it. I felt like, having gained the weight back, my ability to control my eating had faded, so I compensated. This all or nothing mindset is very common with ADHD. I struggle with balance in my life in general.
​
BED is much easier to hide than Anorexia, and I have my mom to thank again for noticing it early and continuing my treatment. One particularly helpful part of that were regular Zoom meetings where I would share a snack with someone online. I also found my friends really helpful, as they seemed like more of a safe space than family or doctors who might worry or be disappointed by what I told them. Eventually, with time, persistence, and support, I overcame bulimia too.
Today, I feel completely in control of my health. I have recovered from my eating disorders, and I know how to manage my ADHD. But it has taken me a long time to find this balance. The journey essentially took three years. It’s something I have to be conscious of every day, but I have learned lots of strategies that work for me – e.g. using Google Calendar and alarms, and, most important, setting my motivation daily so I don‘t get overwhelmed. Becoming more invested in school work and success has helped, as well as getting older. I have also learned not to be too hard on myself and let mistakes derail me for too long. It is much easier to manage all this as an eighteen year old than as an eighth grader.
I really believe that if I had better understood my ADHD and the comorbidities associated with it from the beginning I would have been more aware of what was happening to me, and more empowered to make the right decisions about my health. If I had known about this comorbidity, this would and should have affected my treatment plan, and may have prevented me developing anorexia or bulimia at all.
My mission with Two Birds is to make this information clear and accessible to as many people as possible, in the hopes of saving somebody else from having to go through the same challenges I did.
Being informed as a patient can be a game-changer when it comes to managing our healthcare. When we take the time to understand our medical conditions, treatment options, and the implications of our choices, it empowers us to make more informed decisions about our health. This newfound knowledge often leads to better adherence to treatment plans, healthier lifestyle choices, and improved communication with healthcare providers. When we actively engage in our own healthcare, it not only enhances our overall well-being but also fosters a sense of ownership and responsibility for our own health, ultimately resulting in a more positive and proactive approach to managing our medical needs.
18th Birthday